“We are always so afraid of being ridiculed and blamed if we divorce, so we all choose to endure, but in fact, this kind of patience is not right,” she says. “I later learned that, in fact, it can have a considerable impact on children. The child really doesn’t want you to endure, they want you to stand up bravely and give them a harmonious home.”
She thought of leaving her husband after her daughter got married, but soon she became a grandmother. Her daughter had twins – and once again duty called. She felt she needed to help care for them, although by now she had been diagnosed with depression.
“I felt that if I didn’t leave, I would get sicker,” she says. She promised her daughter she would care for the two boys until they went to kindergarten, and then she would leave.
The spark of inspiration for her escape came in 2019 while flicking through social media. She found a video about someone travelling while living in their van. This was it, she thought to herself. This was her way out.
Even the pandemic did not stop her. In September 2020, she drove away from her marital home in Zhengzhou and she barely looked back as she made her way through 20 Chinese provinces and more than 400 cities.
It’s a decision that has certainly resonated with women in China. To her millions of followers, Su Min offers comfort and hope. “We women are not just someone’s wife or mother… Let’s live for ourselves!” wrote one follower.
Many of them are mothers who share their own struggles. They tell her that they too feel trapped in suffocating marriages – some say her stories have inspired them to walk out of abusive relationships.
“You are a hero to thousands of women and many now see the possibility of a better life because of you,” reads one of the top comments on one of her most-watched videos.
“When I turn 60, I hope I can be as free as you,” another comment says.
A third woman asks: “Auntie Su, can I travel with you? I’ll cover all the expenses. I just want to take a trip with you. I feel so trapped and depressed in my current life.”
